I LOVE these. Funnier the longer I think about them. Almost serious or useful then just completely out of left field.
“Yesterday we were at the brink of abyss, today we took a step forward”
Does the pope shit in the woods?
My all time favorite. Sometimes I go with “is a bear Catholic?”
I use this far too often
What’s the pope part supposed to say?
Does the pope wear a funny hat? Does a bear shit in the woods?
is the pope a bear?
My favorite is, “Why don’t you make like a tree and go fuck yourself?”
i love a softer world! wish there were a community for it
I’m gonna OD on nostalgia from this
This one’s really good since some trees can self-pollinate.
Is that why some family trees are so linear?
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
That’s some Groucho Marx style shit.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Removed by mod
I’m fond of “not the brightest cookie in the knife drawer”
The road to hell is paved with hand-baskets.
This opens up a whole new bag of cats.
Don’t count your chickens before you put them all in one basket
But what if I paid for the 10-piece meal?
There’s no use crying over fish in the sea.
Bob’s your oyster
Kill two cats with one bag
Much fun, but IMO “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” is a perfectly valid maxim (yes I’m aware of its roots). YMMV.
Bojack Hosreman had a couple of good ones. My favorite was: “Fool me once, shame on you, but teach a man to fool me, and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life!”
From the Buffy-verse.
Harmony, the dumbest vampire.
“You’re preaching to the horse’s mouth.”
“I don’t like a loose cannon. They rock the boat.”
Except that actually makes sense.
On a wooden battleship the cannons were literally tied in place so when the recoiled after being fired they would not smash into the gun crew on the other side of the ship. If a cannon broke its restraints it could maim the crew and break through the hull.
The very next line is “loose cannon, rock the boat – is that a mixed metaphor? Boats did have cannons. And if one got loose, it would cause the boat to rock…”
