…and why not?..other than oppressive discrimination, the gay community cultivates a pretty celebratory lifestyle…
Question, is there a level of gayness that cannot be surpassed? You know like the speed of light.
Samwell is peak gayness.
Dude knows what he likes. Respect.
I lowkey believe the vast majority of monosexual people are actually bisexual people who have decided for one reason or another they will only date one gender.
Personally and from a pragmatic viewpoint, I don’t think it’s the vast majority, at least not based on my experience and assuming we’re both using the same nonscientific and imprecise definitions.
Having said that, I am fully on board with the idea that more people are somewhere in between on the spectrum of sexuality than most of us realize or recognize, and that far fewer of us are at the extreme ends (i.e. 100% fully hetero, 100% fully homo) than the average person assumes.
At issue here, for me, is recognizing that sexuality is (or can be) extremely complicated. It’s a situation where you can be almost comically pedantic and precise, taking things to the absurd, and easily make the claim that nobody is “monosexual”. There are so many factors to consider. Peoples’ presentation doesn’t necessarily correlate to their actual innate orientation. People’s sexuality can, and not infrequently, does change over the course of their lifetime. Those are just two examples.
I think a big part of my comfort with describing it as a vast majority is because I have an expansive definition. From what I’m given to understand, most people think of a kinsey 1 as het and a kinsey 5 as gay, but those are both clearly bi for me
I’m bisexual and pretty open about it… whenever men have had a few drinks around me and I mention it, so many start telling me all the men they are attracted to.
It’s a really funny phenomenon
the whole “innate v.s. choice” dichotomy is toxic. claim it’s a choice, and society will force people to “choose” differently. insist that it’s innate and all those people you’re alluding to will conclude from their first sexual encounters that they could never choose to enjoy a different type of encounter.
It’s certainly more complicated than the dichotomy makes it out to be.
Agreed. Honestly believe that no one is truly entirely hetero or homosexual. I mean, either of those existing is predicated on the existence of a strict gender binary. If gender is a spectrum, sexuality necessarily has to be as well.
Wholly agree, it’s a spectrum. I’m het, but that’s just a shorthand convenience label that says I’m for the most part attracted to people that don’t look like me, even if it’s not particularly useful or necessarily true, but I don’t think it’s a bad word if it’s helping express something I like.
When I do think it’s an awful word is when it’s used to restrict someone’s freedom in choosing a partner, or forcing someone’s view of themselves into a black and white stereotype, so it’s a rather loaded word at this point.
It’s just so simplistic and limiting for there to be words that treat attraction like a fixed trait. I’ve got to be straight, gay, bi, or some global descriptor for my own behaviour? That sucks.
Like maybe I’m straight, but in a “knows when dudes are hot and comfortable at kink parties” way, you know? There’s no word that doesn’t lump me in with loads of people I have nothing in common with.
Like maybe I’m straight, but in a “knows when dudes are hot and comfortable at kink parties” way, you know
I’m throwing you in the “fun people” pile, so there’s another label ;)
I’m not even fun half the time I’m fuckin SLEEPY
If that is the case, then I’ve made that decision unknowingly from my own self
How much time have you spent considering your sexuality, and when did you last consider it? I suspect a lot of people chose a sexuality a long time ago under significant social pressure and don’t have a great memory of it because there was kind of a lot going on at the time.
If it was a choice, don’t you think I’d try it? I’m not getting much luck on the other side!
Oh. When did you last have a pie?
But that(sexuality in general) being a choice would make life much more easier. Instead of a current method of just having to accept it, no matter how bad hand was dealt.
Like being gay in a country with strong religious influence can be a death sentence. Even in more liberal or accepting culture, there are still going to be difficulties. Or being Ace, while not a death sentence, is a guaranteed way to have relationship difficulties throughout life. Or even as simple as being a woman with too high libido is going to branded as a slut or a guy with not high enough libido is not man.
Basically anything too far off the basic or stereotypical representation of any aspect related to sex is going to guarantee issues.
While yeah it shouldn’t be that way, in reality it is and having the ability to choose or easily change some aspects would be rather useful skill.
Disclaimer: i don’t have anything against sexual minorities, as after saying that i usually get lumped up into the same group who thinks conversion camps are a good idea. The idea likely stems from personal issues and seeing the benefit of that idea.
I just can’t understand why even discussing this idea is such a taboo subject.
If that was the case no one would choose to be LGBT+ because it would have a degree of difficulty and if it’s purely a choice and not biological, why would you? There’s no material benefit to it.
I can only read such a sentiment as being anti-lgbt. Having the ability to ‘choose’ would be horrible, because it implies we ultimately should not exist.
Fair point, not many would make relationships more difficult just for fun. Those can be difficult enough already.
Just to clarify, i am not against lgbt, neither do i think that someone shouldn’t exist. Well maybe except rapists and murders or fascist, but that’s besides the point. It’s just form personal issues and no hatred towards others, just myself.
I mean, no objections here.
Just trying to bring a bit of hope in that, even with the recent fascist uprisings everywhere, I think the world has been gradually progressing in the last several decades, and societies are now more accepting of minorities in general.
I want to believe that what we’re seeing are the death throws of a greedy, selfish and unaccepting culture and generation, that’s trying to contaminate whatever fresh minds it still can after having lost most of us, and that our most important job is to fight them and protect the new generation from these degenerates.
Yeah, it has been slowly improving, even despite current setbacks and that’s very good. Hopefully next generations will face less and less judgment from general society and that would most definitely fix some issues.
But i do think some will still remain, like a compatibility issue. How many couples break up over something as simple as a difference in libido? How many relationships don’t even start just because lack of mutual sexual attraction, even though everything else suits?
I doubt that less judgment from general society would help much against that part?
Tbf I feel like if one finds it important to have sex in a relationship, and the other has a low desire for it, and they can’t find a solution, it’s fair to break up. Just do it on good terms and don’t hold a grudge/spite for one another. Look instead at the positive experiences that were had together, if any.
Less judgement definitely would help, if only to make relationships less strained or artificially kept in place because of power imbalance.
Yep, and people change with time, maybe one kept the same drive they had in their early 20’s, the other did not. This happens with other things as well, and if anything, sexual issues might just be a symptom that people’s interests, needs and priorities have changed and are no longer aligned…
Growing old together is a game of compromises, but as long as both are willing to play, it is fun.
Completely fair, as there currently isn’t much else to do/any other solution.
(sorry if this posts twice phone is going sideways) My life would be so much easier if I could choose not to be trans, or choose to have anything more than my very specific attractions. I think I’d probably go for it honestly, or maybe take a break sometimes, it’s exhausting and lonely
I would most definitely go for it myself as well and my problems aren’t even that severe.
Stay strong, hopefully it get better in the future.
