I’ll offer insights into two I have experience with. First there’s AA. They’re faith based but leave it to the individual to define their higher power however they wish. But the point is that people don’t believe they have it in themselves to quit drinking so they must submit to something they consider outside themselves in order to stop. AA is also where you get the “12 steps”, which are what you have to go through in order to have the best chance of maintaining your sobriety. The steps are all faith based, such as giving yourself over to god in order to overcome your addiction. In meetings, you have to label yourself as an alcoholic when you start to talk, such as "I’m Luna, I’m an alcoholic. This program also labels you an addict for life and insists on total abstinence from your drug of choice

The other is Smart recovery. They are not faith based and rely on reason and psychology to change behavior. They offer workbooks with the goal of helping you understand the patterns and mindsets that led to your addiction and how to modify those behaviors. They have a 4 point program based on CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and is meant to be a temporary support rather than a lifelong commitment.

What I’ve experienced in meetings: In AA everyone seems constantly fearful and anxious just below the surface, and angry. They really push you to share your stories of recovery and it’s somewhat cultish. If someone shares something particularly devastating and obviously needs help they might offer a phone number or say just continue to come to the meetings but they won’t offer any support in the meeting because they don’t allow cross talk. In a recent meeting a woman was asking someone to change her mind because she was saying the program wasn’t doing anything for her but instead of helping her people were asking to have her thrown out of the meeting and one even gave her the finger on camera. It kind of sucked.

In Smart meetings cross talk is allowed. There’s also the impression the IQ in the room is significantly higher than in AA meetings. They would have been happy to have a discussion with the woman asking someone to change her mind. They also frame the situations you face in your addiction as choices, rather than an all powerful urge that’s unstoppable without god’s help. If you’re a junkie and you have to get that next shot, you have a choice not to do it rather even though the consequences might be extremely painful.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for being honest. For yourself and for all those also struggling.

When I quit smoking tobacco, I waited as long as i could to have my first smoke of the day. Some days I made it very far, some days I lit up right when I woke up. Eventually I made it through a whole day.

It accelerated pretty fast after that cause once I got a few days under my belt, I felt positive reinforcement. Relapsing didnt crush my spirit, I could be so happy with how much time I “earned” last go around. Not bad that I failed to “quit”. This really flipped the script for me. I felt stronger as I kept trying rather then pulled apart and broken down.

If being hard on yourself worked, we would be perfect by now.