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Deceptichum@quokk.au to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 2 days ago

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Deceptichum@quokk.au to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 2 days ago
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  • Etlaris@lemdro.id
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    7 hours ago

    Alternative version: … – What are your demands?

    • Deploy – I demand you have a day off.
  • squaresinger@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    In my last job we called that “optimizing”, after a colleague (who usually only did frontent work) used the opportunity when everyone else was on vacation to implement a few show-stopping bugs in the backend and put “optimized backend code” in the commit message. He did the same thing a few months later during the next vacation period, which really solidified the joke.

    • mattreb@feddit.it
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      17 hours ago

      that’s exactly why we have mandatory code reviews now…

    • bier@feddit.nl
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      1 day ago

      Worked with a guy that would always say I’m refactoring X and it would usually give us weird issues and bugs. So after a while the team started calling it refucktoring

  • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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    1 day ago

    WhatsApp for business communications? Jesus

    • moseschrute@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      What’s  is for business, and signal is for official government communication

      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Both are quite secure but neither of them stop an idiot on one end or the other from sharing the contents with the public.

        • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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          16 hours ago

          I always find it funny how many people fail to understand the “end to end” part of end to end encryption.

          If your endpoint isn’t secure then the messages aren’t.

        • Tywèle [she|her]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          18 hours ago

          Isn’t that true for any communications tool?

        • hypnicjerk@lemmy.world
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          22 hours ago

          whatsapp is closed source and meta owned. i think it’s incredibly foolish to trust that it has no backdoors built in.

          • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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            15 hours ago

            That’s not how encryption works. But you’re not wrong about it being owned by meta being a problem. There’s more info in a message than just the contents.

            • MadhuGururajan@programming.dev
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              12 hours ago

              you say that but they’re already thinking a step ahead and assuming meta left a backdoor or CVE at the behest of 3-letter agencies.

              What’s facebook’s business plan? Right, surveillance capitalism.

              • ptu@sopuli.xyz
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                10 hours ago

                IIRC whatsapp’s automatic backups are stored in cloud and unencrypted by default. So it takes only one person in the group chat who has backups enabled (pop up reminds periodically if not) and no password is set (not required, takes effort and will to set) to leak everyone’s messages.

              • airgapped@piefed.social
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                11 hours ago

                I assume no encryption is safe from three letter gangs, at this point I’m only concerned with keeping grubby corporate fingers at bay.

    • marcos@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Works better than Teams.

      Probably has better privacy and confidentiality options too.

    • Spykee@lemmings.world
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      1 day ago

      There’s “WhatsApp for Business” & “WhatsApp Business Solutions”.
      Catch-up, grandpa!

      • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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        1 day ago

        I think those are for sales, like b2c advertising. Not for how your business talks to each other internally to destroy databases.

        • Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Nope, we use WhatsApp for escalation from clients when a ticket is too important to wait. Works great. Management talks to management and passes to us.

          • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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            1 day ago

            With Whatsapp for Business? Cause that’s a specific thing: https://business.whatsapp.com/

      • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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        1 day ago

        I’m aware the technologies exist - I can’t fathom wanting my sensitive communications served by meta.

        Also, grandma* - my pronouns are right there.

        • a_postmodern_hat@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Hey, just so you’re aware I’m reading this in Voyager and it does not display your pronouns like the web UI does.

          • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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            1 day ago

            It shows almost nothing and definitely leads to confusion about who is talking to who :(

            • buttnugget@lemmy.world
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              6 hours ago

              Wait, what confusion? I use Voyager and I have no confusion about who is whom. I can see in the lower reply box that you are balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one.

              The only issue with pronouns is that people who assume default maleness should be locked up anyway, so that’s an entirely separate issue.

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 day ago

              Tbf, I don’t read unames, and my app shows the pronouns in line with and the same color as the unames, so I don’t read those either.

              Literally no clue who I’m even responding to right now. Doesn’t really matter who it is either, my response would be the same regardless of your race/gender/whatever else.

              The one exception is whenever I see something profoundly stupid I will sometimes check the uname and go “ah yes cowbee again how predictable” but that’s just pure entertainment and learning who here not to waste energy on, most comments are just comments and don’t warrant that level of self preservation.

              • Rusty Shackleford@programming.dev
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                9 hours ago

                @Cowbee@lemmy.ml out here getting smoked on the regular 😅🤣

  • Destide@feddit.uk
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    1 day ago

    "Today"is a Friday before public holidays

    • killeronthecorner@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      December 23rd

      Never trust a man deploying with a Santa hat on

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        17 hours ago

        Unless that man was on call and was paged because something broke.

    • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I’m about to head out the door may as well do a quick system upgrade.

  • itkovian@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I felt that in my gut.

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    1 day ago

    “Alright, I need all of the leads on this call to confirm: go, or no go.”

    “Go.”

    “Go.”

    “Let 'er rip!”

    “Hold up–”

  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Anyone else find that praying hands emoji very condescending when used like that? I would destroy the backend DB if they tried to send me that!

    • setVeryLoud(true);@lemmy.ca
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      12 hours ago

      I think it’s Indian English. Wild guess from the sentence structure, vocabulary used and the selected colour of the hands emoji.

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      They beg you like they beg god for something for free.

    • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Namaste🙏

    • blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I just imagined it’s like a buddhist “peace be with you” kind of thing

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I worked with someone who used them as “thank you”.

      it was…a challenge.

      • tempest@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        It’s the first emoji that comes to if I type tha…

        So I use it like that

      • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
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        What’s wrong with that? It’s a common gesture for thanks in many places irl… that’s the first thing i think when I see that emoji, and I’m from a western culture…

        • tomiant@programming.dev
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          18 hours ago

          In my culture it means go fuck yourself.

          • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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            11 hours ago

            … what culture is that?

        • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          I think pray, because that’s what you have to type to use it.

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
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            17 hours ago

            You can also type “thanks” or “please”. Both of those show the hands together emoji.

            • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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              16 hours ago

              they do now because people are using it incorrectly.

              not once in my life have I groveled a “thank you” and I don’t intend to start via text.

              • piccolo@sh.itjust.works
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                9 hours ago

                I shall inform south asian people that they are using their hands wrong.

                • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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                  9 hours ago

                  considering I’m not in south asia, and don’t interact with anyone from south asia it’s not something that I have come across, like ever.

                  use it all you want though, I’ll just always remember the douche bag that used it 500 times a day and associate anyone that uses it like them to the douche bag.

                  thanks 🤲

  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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    Do it and I destroy your backend.

    Have you dropping tables like you’re Mankind in 1999.

    • wookiepedia@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Sick reference

      • tomiant@programming.dev
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        18 hours ago

        Out of control.

  • MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca
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    Narrator: The deployment proved that it wasn’t a typo afterall.

    • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Adderall

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
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        2 days ago

        Adderall deployment proved that tit wasn’t a type after all.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        The deployment proved it wasn’t a typo adderall.

  • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Confused the “deploy to PROD” with “deploy to staging” again huh?

    • kopasz7@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Oh, look at Mr Many Environments here, he’s too good to test on prod like the rest of us do.

      • MNByChoice@midwest.social
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        Every groups have a “testing”. Some also have a “production”.

  • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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    What is this magical job where two typos land you a day off, no questions asked?

    • katy ✨@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      tbf this was a pretty big typo if anything deserves a day off its this

    • marcos@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Not deploying the backend doesn’t make it a day off.

      The coworker probably got the message right and knows about some integration problem the poster doesn’t know about.

      • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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        1 day ago

        Please take the day off !

        How could this be misunderstood?

        • tomiant@programming.dev
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          18 hours ago

          That’s a textbook “yes, sir” situation.

    • tooclose104@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      A typo in software development or other shell based work could completely ass womp a system in ways that could lose a company lots of money.

      Oopsies on prod systems, even with an outage window, can really fuck shit up. Seemingly small mistakes can quickly snowball into systemwide outages.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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        2 days ago

        It’s wild to me how some places I’ve worked are like locked down, all the infrastructure is in terraform or whatever and can be deployed immediately… and other places are like “ssh into prod with the credentials from confluence, edit the config in vim, and paste the new code into a new file”

        • tooclose104@lemmy.ca
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          22 hours ago

          I’m at one of the latter, so I feel this in my bones. I’ve watched what should have been an innocent config change snowball into a pair of VM clusters shitting back and forth for 2 hours. Implemented strict change control that day. Kind of a pain, but the team learned a lot that day!

        • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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          1 day ago

          One of those is Amazon prior to chatgpt, the other is Amazon a few weeks back.

    • Mark with a Z@suppo.fi
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      2 days ago

      Day off while they prepare to fire you, maybe

    • Tm12@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      Tech CEO

  • 9point6@lemmy.world
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    “good morning, I’m about to destroy the backend” is exactly the energy I’d welcome from a colleague frankly.

    I think the outage that followed as we fumbled to replace it would probably be cheaper than the ongoing maintenance after a few months

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Used properly, repairing pretty much anything with a sledgehammer will ensure it’ll never break again.

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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      I’ve seen plenty of back ends that needed to be destroyed.

      • Ghyste@sh.itjust.works
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        • inbeesee@lemmy.world
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          21 hours ago

          Because that’s how you get phrasing

      • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        • Sundray@lemmus.org
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          1 day ago

      • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        Are we still talking about code?

        • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Wait, you guys were talking about code?

          • Ghyste@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

      • marlowe221@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Amen…

  • Voytrekk@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    I’ll remember to keep that for the first nice day in Spring.

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