Monosexual (mono = 1) - attracted to people of exactly 1 gender. Heterosexuality, homosexuality and attractions to any other specific gender and nothing else go here.
Bisexual (bi = 2) - attracted to people of exactly 2 genders, most typically male and female, but can be anything. This term can be used by pansexuals in the context where people are not properly aware of the existing of other genders.
Polysexual (poly = several) - attracted to people of several (3 and more) various genders. Pretty self-explanatory at this point.
Pansexual (pan = everything) - attracted to people of all genders. If you’re sexy to a given pansexual, they don’t care what your gender is - male, female, or any flavor of nonbinary. Just be cool.
The confusion stems from the previous understanding that there are only two genders, and the fact the awareness of different genders came before pansexuality or polysexuality were widely discussed, which made a giant mess with pansexuals categorizing themselves as bisexuals and then claiming being bisexual is not just about two genders. It is, it’s in the name, and we have proper terms for other options now.
FYI: Some people also prefer the term “omnisexual”, which also means being attracted to people of all genders, but accentuates the gender differences. So, instead of pansexual “I don’t care of your gender, just be cool”, it’s more like “women are cute and nice, men are strong huggers and damn boy be the big spoon, agenders are special and whew I like that” etc. etc. Basically, loving everyone, but each gender is attractive in its own unique way.
Bisexual (bi = 2) - attracted to people of exactly 2 genders, most typically male and female, but can be anything. This term can be used by pansexuals in the context where people are not properly aware of the existing of other genders.
This is absolutely incorrect. I’ll copy a portion of my own comment from deeper in this thread to explain.
The bi part of bisexual refers to both homosexual (same gender) and heterosexual (different gender) so nobody’s left out. I guess an argument could be made that an agender person might not fit under either umbrella, but i would still consider agender to be either same gender (if the bisexual person is also agender) or different gender (if the bisexual person is not agender).
The bi part of bisexual refers to both homosexual (same gender) and heterosexual (different gender) so nobody’s left out.
Exactly, and as I said, this was very true when we considered that there are only two genders. Now if you’re attracted to people of more genders, there are terms that would fit you better. Why produce the confusion by dragging the confusing and wrong two-gender era terminology into the modern world?
If you’re attracted to men, women and agenders, why take the *bi-*sexual umbrella, especially when we have correct, more apt terms now? Bi is two, and two specifically. Bidirectional. Bipolar. Bicycle. Bipedal. Bisexual. Bi is two. Tri is three. Quadro is four. Why sexuality of all things should make an exception because some people didn’t know better decades ago?
Did you read my comment? The bi in bisexual has never referred to two genders; it refers to two sexualities, namely homosexual and heterosexual. Homo meaning same and hetero meaning different. If we consider a set of people with both the same gender as a hypothetical bisexual person (regardless of their gender) and different genders from that same bisexual person, all people are included in that set regardless of their gender.
Importantly, no single word has ever been a full and complete description of any person’s sexual preferences. I’m not saying that all bisexual people are attracted to all people of all genders, but that the word bisexual has no implication of anything less.
The term bisexual is not an exception to the bi - 2, tri - 3, quad - 4, etc linguistic rule, it simply doesn’t refer to the two that you’re assigning it to (genders). Beyond that, I have no idea why you think it’s appropriate to apply a linguistic rule proscriptively to other people’s sexualities.
This kind of confidently incorrect interpretation not only harkens to bisexual erasure (as in ignoring the words and writings of actual bisexual people), it actively harms bisexual people by assigning them with a reinforcing of gender binary that bisexuality has never implied, even linguistically. Try listening to a bisexual person (me, for starters) rather than blaming us for reinforcing a gender binary based on your own misinterpretation.
Also, bisexual is not an old outdated term from “when we considered that there are only two genders” (bisexual erasure much?), it is an inclusive identifier that covers a broad range of sexual preferences.
TLDR: Fuck you, you don’t get to tell me how to refer to my own sexuality.
I was writing a long answer about misinterpretation of heterosexuality and the proven fact 1984-style word play doesn’t erase what is there natively, and also fuck you for throwing slurs around and all that, when the root of the conflict occurred to me. And maybe that’s something that helps settle it.
I treat sexuality as a descriptor, a label, and you treat it as an identity. To me, words should serve as the best available approximation of the experience, which is fluid and complicated and doesn’t fit into narrow boxes anyway; to you, it’s a legacy, a group, a part of who you are (correct me if I’m wrong).
I have no problem switching from heterosexual to bicurious/bisexual, and maybe to pansexual should I meet more nonbinary folks in person. To you, being bisexual is a pillar of who you are, and switching it up is as problematic as switching an engine on the go, and maybe that really shouldn’t be done. You are, indeed, a sole arbiter.
But all these identities grew around words. And words can either bring clarity, or add to the confusion. You yourself claim not all bisexuals are attracted to people of all genders. Wouldn’t it be great if people could properly clarify and make a distinction between being attracted to people of two genders, several of them, and all of them using the terms we already have, and which are widely accepted? This whole “how are bisexuals different from pansexuals” question could be settled overnight! Nothing needs to be invented; all that’s left is to make a good use for the existing vocabulary. And maybe, when new people decide to make these words their identity, there would be waaay less confusion about it.
For anyone genuinely confused:
Monosexual (mono = 1) - attracted to people of exactly 1 gender. Heterosexuality, homosexuality and attractions to any other specific gender and nothing else go here.
Bisexual (bi = 2) - attracted to people of exactly 2 genders, most typically male and female, but can be anything. This term can be used by pansexuals in the context where people are not properly aware of the existing of other genders.
Polysexual (poly = several) - attracted to people of several (3 and more) various genders. Pretty self-explanatory at this point.
Pansexual (pan = everything) - attracted to people of all genders. If you’re sexy to a given pansexual, they don’t care what your gender is - male, female, or any flavor of nonbinary. Just be cool.
The confusion stems from the previous understanding that there are only two genders, and the fact the awareness of different genders came before pansexuality or polysexuality were widely discussed, which made a giant mess with pansexuals categorizing themselves as bisexuals and then claiming being bisexual is not just about two genders. It is, it’s in the name, and we have proper terms for other options now.
FYI: Some people also prefer the term “omnisexual”, which also means being attracted to people of all genders, but accentuates the gender differences. So, instead of pansexual “I don’t care of your gender, just be cool”, it’s more like “women are cute and nice, men are strong huggers and damn boy be the big spoon, agenders are special and whew I like that” etc. etc. Basically, loving everyone, but each gender is attractive in its own unique way.
This is absolutely incorrect. I’ll copy a portion of my own comment from deeper in this thread to explain.
Exactly, and as I said, this was very true when we considered that there are only two genders. Now if you’re attracted to people of more genders, there are terms that would fit you better. Why produce the confusion by dragging the confusing and wrong two-gender era terminology into the modern world?
If you’re attracted to men, women and agenders, why take the *bi-*sexual umbrella, especially when we have correct, more apt terms now? Bi is two, and two specifically. Bidirectional. Bipolar. Bicycle. Bipedal. Bisexual. Bi is two. Tri is three. Quadro is four. Why sexuality of all things should make an exception because some people didn’t know better decades ago?
Did you read my comment? The bi in bisexual has never referred to two genders; it refers to two sexualities, namely homosexual and heterosexual. Homo meaning same and hetero meaning different. If we consider a set of people with both the same gender as a hypothetical bisexual person (regardless of their gender) and different genders from that same bisexual person, all people are included in that set regardless of their gender.
Importantly, no single word has ever been a full and complete description of any person’s sexual preferences. I’m not saying that all bisexual people are attracted to all people of all genders, but that the word bisexual has no implication of anything less.
The term bisexual is not an exception to the bi - 2, tri - 3, quad - 4, etc linguistic rule, it simply doesn’t refer to the two that you’re assigning it to (genders). Beyond that, I have no idea why you think it’s appropriate to apply a linguistic rule proscriptively to other people’s sexualities.
This kind of confidently incorrect interpretation not only harkens to bisexual erasure (as in ignoring the words and writings of actual bisexual people), it actively harms bisexual people by assigning them with a reinforcing of gender binary that bisexuality has never implied, even linguistically. Try listening to a bisexual person (me, for starters) rather than blaming us for reinforcing a gender binary based on your own misinterpretation.
Also, bisexual is not an old outdated term from “when we considered that there are only two genders” (bisexual erasure much?), it is an inclusive identifier that covers a broad range of sexual preferences.
TLDR: Fuck you, you don’t get to tell me how to refer to my own sexuality.
I was writing a long answer about misinterpretation of heterosexuality and the proven fact 1984-style word play doesn’t erase what is there natively, and also fuck you for throwing slurs around and all that, when the root of the conflict occurred to me. And maybe that’s something that helps settle it.
I treat sexuality as a descriptor, a label, and you treat it as an identity. To me, words should serve as the best available approximation of the experience, which is fluid and complicated and doesn’t fit into narrow boxes anyway; to you, it’s a legacy, a group, a part of who you are (correct me if I’m wrong).
I have no problem switching from heterosexual to bicurious/bisexual, and maybe to pansexual should I meet more nonbinary folks in person. To you, being bisexual is a pillar of who you are, and switching it up is as problematic as switching an engine on the go, and maybe that really shouldn’t be done. You are, indeed, a sole arbiter.
But all these identities grew around words. And words can either bring clarity, or add to the confusion. You yourself claim not all bisexuals are attracted to people of all genders. Wouldn’t it be great if people could properly clarify and make a distinction between being attracted to people of two genders, several of them, and all of them using the terms we already have, and which are widely accepted? This whole “how are bisexuals different from pansexuals” question could be settled overnight! Nothing needs to be invented; all that’s left is to make a good use for the existing vocabulary. And maybe, when new people decide to make these words their identity, there would be waaay less confusion about it.
How would that settle us?
I really appreciate your eloquent and expressive defense of bisexual people in this thread. You’ve got a way with words :)
That’s very kind, thank you!