I was writing a long answer about misinterpretation of heterosexuality and the proven fact 1984-style word play doesn’t erase what is there natively, and also fuck you for throwing slurs around and all that, when the root of the conflict occurred to me. And maybe that’s something that helps settle it.
I treat sexuality as a descriptor, a label, and you treat it as an identity. To me, words should serve as the best available approximation of the experience, which is fluid and complicated and doesn’t fit into narrow boxes anyway; to you, it’s a legacy, a group, a part of who you are (correct me if I’m wrong).
I have no problem switching from heterosexual to bicurious/bisexual, and maybe to pansexual should I meet more nonbinary folks in person. To you, being bisexual is a pillar of who you are, and switching it up is as problematic as switching an engine on the go, and maybe that really shouldn’t be done. You are, indeed, a sole arbiter.
But all these identities grew around words. And words can either bring clarity, or add to the confusion. You yourself claim not all bisexuals are attracted to people of all genders. Wouldn’t it be great if people could properly clarify and make a distinction between being attracted to people of two genders, several of them, and all of them using the terms we already have, and which are widely accepted? This whole “how are bisexuals different from pansexuals” question could be settled overnight! Nothing needs to be invented; all that’s left is to make a good use for the existing vocabulary. And maybe, when new people decide to make these words their identity, there would be waaay less confusion about it.
I was writing a long answer about misinterpretation of heterosexuality and the proven fact 1984-style word play doesn’t erase what is there natively, and also fuck you for throwing slurs around and all that, when the root of the conflict occurred to me. And maybe that’s something that helps settle it.
I treat sexuality as a descriptor, a label, and you treat it as an identity. To me, words should serve as the best available approximation of the experience, which is fluid and complicated and doesn’t fit into narrow boxes anyway; to you, it’s a legacy, a group, a part of who you are (correct me if I’m wrong).
I have no problem switching from heterosexual to bicurious/bisexual, and maybe to pansexual should I meet more nonbinary folks in person. To you, being bisexual is a pillar of who you are, and switching it up is as problematic as switching an engine on the go, and maybe that really shouldn’t be done. You are, indeed, a sole arbiter.
But all these identities grew around words. And words can either bring clarity, or add to the confusion. You yourself claim not all bisexuals are attracted to people of all genders. Wouldn’t it be great if people could properly clarify and make a distinction between being attracted to people of two genders, several of them, and all of them using the terms we already have, and which are widely accepted? This whole “how are bisexuals different from pansexuals” question could be settled overnight! Nothing needs to be invented; all that’s left is to make a good use for the existing vocabulary. And maybe, when new people decide to make these words their identity, there would be waaay less confusion about it.
How would that settle us?