I know it’s a shitpost, but I feel this is also a place where it’s good to share that I earnestly believe Jesus was asexual. I remember when I first read about asexuality, and how so many ace people perceive the world from a pretty fundamentally different place, I immediately thought about how this resonates with Jesus in the gospels (look, I’m an Episcopal priest with an educational focus in, among other things, Queer theology). This notion manages to also accomplish a few things: one, answer the question of whether or not Jesus was ever married or whatever; two, enshrine asexuality as a legitimately accepted part of the sexuality spectrum (which is still a subject of debate for people, even moreso for many Christians); three, teach us that God chose to be incarnate as a Queer person.