Capt. Wolf

What do you call a cow with no legs?

“Con” has brought us such deliciousness as “con queso” and “con carne.” It has my vote.

Gotta love fucking over the consumer twice! They’re gonna get, what, $5 out of a class action? $5 and a burned out cpu, yay!

Fuschia on black is very hard to read for some people. Personally, even with my glasses on, the text fuzzes out. It’s very jarring

“You don’t buy the beer here. You rent it!”

“Alexa, all lights off.”

Now, talk to me about going up the stairs from the basement alone…

Everyone knows that’s how the evil clown, ghost, or whatever basement demon living in your house gets you…

Grabs your ankles ands pulls you right back down…

Shut up, brain! When we were 9, you didn’t even know what cringe was!

I look forward to the day when I pass my screen name on to my son…

And, to this day, I still crave that super thin wedge of pizza once in a while.

The torch has been passed…

Sites like that saved me thousands getting my psych degree. God bless professors like this. Also the ones who were like, “the new edition of the book you need for this semester is $500, but you can get the previous edition for $5 at this site. Here’s copies of the pages that were changed.” or “I photocopied every page you need for this semester from the book for all of you.”

You forgot the sound of a Sunchips bag. My not even conceived children are going to be deaf because I opened one back in the 90s.

A fun rabbit hole my buddy sent me down a couple weeks ago was how these guys are actually a secret nazi group.

Nuzu…

Dispose of Yuzu,

for my amuzument!

And now he has a new dad!

Well… We all knew that was coming. If you still have an account haven’t done so, now’s a good time to purge your account!

I got one yesterday that was like, “Identify all the pictures with busses.” and I swear to god, they were all just static. I just clicked continue and it was like, “No… There are definitely busses here.”

It’s in the other sink. However, a small, elderly Italian woman named Nana approaches you and slaps your hand as you reach for it. She says, “It’s not ready yet! 4 more hours!”

She offers you some olive oil and garlic aioli instead. She proceeds to feed you for 4 hours until the sauce is ready. Surprisingly, you’re still hungry. The sink sauce is delicious.

I’ve never had that cap with them, but then I’m also not paying for standard internet…

AT&T is another. Depending on your tier, they give you “unlimited usage” but only up to a certain usage point. After that they supposedly throttle you down as low as 2g speeds depending on your tier and network load.

Net neutrality can’t get brought back fast enough!