I once dated a goth girl who wanted me to tie her up. I took it seriously and started learning how to do it. Researched the correct type of rope to use, the dangers associated, etc. Went to the hardware store. Built a really simple practice rig so I could practice some knots safely. Learned about which knots were safe where on the body without causing nerve damage, and how to recognize the early signs of nerve damage before the damage becomes permanent. I even got special scissors for cutting rope in an emergency.
I informed her of my progress and that we would be able to indulge in her fantasy soon. (note: I was recently diagnosed with autism) She told me I was being to extra about it and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. I asked her if she’d rather lose feeling in her fingers. Needless to say that was a huge waste of time and effort. Moral of the story is either a) don’t put in energy to these things without knowing it will be matched, or b) when someone says they want to be tied up just buy a roll of sex tape and safety scissors.
in my experience ppl who wanna be tied up are also interested in the safety aspect, but that might just be because I attract autistic ppl, I feel bad you had a bad experience tho
There are a lot of people with impossible fantasies. They want their partner to be spontaneous but only when it’s convenient, they want a sense of danger but no real danger (but they want to believe there is real danger). It leads people to do stupid stuff like under negotiating kink scenes in the interest of “realism”. People get hurt.
You did the right thing. Some goth girl will be lucky to have you tie her up someday.
Similar experience for me, I still have a copy of Learning the Ropes tucked away just in case I find someone with the patience to be properly restrained
It turned out she just wanted something that could be accomplished with a set of cuffs, which is the quick and easy solution
I once dated a goth girl who wanted me to tie her up. I took it seriously and started learning how to do it. Researched the correct type of rope to use, the dangers associated, etc. Went to the hardware store. Built a really simple practice rig so I could practice some knots safely. Learned about which knots were safe where on the body without causing nerve damage, and how to recognize the early signs of nerve damage before the damage becomes permanent. I even got special scissors for cutting rope in an emergency.
I informed her of my progress and that we would be able to indulge in her fantasy soon. (note: I was recently diagnosed with autism) She told me I was being to extra about it and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. I asked her if she’d rather lose feeling in her fingers. Needless to say that was a huge waste of time and effort. Moral of the story is either a) don’t put in energy to these things without knowing it will be matched, or b) when someone says they want to be tied up just buy a roll of sex tape and safety scissors.
in my experience ppl who wanna be tied up are also interested in the safety aspect, but that might just be because I attract autistic ppl, I feel bad you had a bad experience tho
well, you came out of that with a lot more knowledge of rope bondage and safety at least
Thats her loss for not wanting to be tied up correctly. I on the other hand…
Look on the bright side, you’re probably really good at sailing now.
There are a lot of people with impossible fantasies. They want their partner to be spontaneous but only when it’s convenient, they want a sense of danger but no real danger (but they want to believe there is real danger). It leads people to do stupid stuff like under negotiating kink scenes in the interest of “realism”. People get hurt.
You did the right thing. Some goth girl will be lucky to have you tie her up someday.
noooo that’s cute please continue and find a happier goth girl
Forget her, you did good and now know all the important stuff if someone else has a similar ask.
But fr sex tape is much easier, shibari’s a skill that takes practice and knowledge to avoid injury, particularly if you want to start getting fancy.
Did you enjoy learning that stuff? If nothing else you got an anecdote out of it so I’d say it wasn’t a total waste.
Bro, just use like, a bathrobe belt, soft, easily removable.
Since a bathrobe belt is usually only 1-1.5m long, the amount of bondage you can do with it is in fact quite limited.
Similar experience for me, I still have a copy of Learning the Ropes tucked away just in case I find someone with the patience to be properly restrained
It turned out she just wanted something that could be accomplished with a set of cuffs, which is the quick and easy solution