being an ally means using the privilege you are afforded by your gender to fight for women and magnify their voices. men are part of an oppressor group, which means that they are rewarded for wielding misogyny against women. it is /unusual/ for individual men to reject this. it does not matter whether women “accept you” as an ally, it does not matter whether you think of yourself as an ally. what matters are your actions.

one of the most basic requirements of allyship is understanding that the people your group oppresses will likely be wary of or outright hostile to members of your group and accepting that this is a reasonable and expected reaction to their subjugation.

if your allyship (your amplification of women’s voices, your fight for them and their rights) is determined by how they feel about you (if someone not liking you is enough for you abandon them) then you are not an ally.

women do not have the power to make you an ally or not, but we /can/ identify it: you are not being an ally right now.