• Section Ratio General@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Idk why people are calling him cutie mcshootie. He hasn’t shot anyone. I remember how when he crashed on my couch during the first week of December he told me “I have never owned a gun and have intentions of shooting anyone.” What a legend who never left my sight that entire week, especially when we had breakfast together on December 4th at 5:44am CST.

        • GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          I call him Cutie McShooty because he was in my marital bed on December 4th making sweet sweet love to my wife and Cutie McShootied his load inside of her at 5:44am CST on the dot. I allowed this to happen, not due to some cuckolding kink, but because he has a reputation for being a generous and respectable lover and I knew he would treat her the way she deserves to be treated. He was an absolute gentleman about the whole arrangement although he has a strange habit of screaming “I have never been to New York and have no plans to go at any time in the future for any reason” at the moment of climax.