i will just pop in to say that there are ways to experience that in a safe environment. consensual nonconsent / rape play is by no means unheard of, nor is it in any way problematic so long as there’s a safeword for you to use when you’re actually not having fun anymore

virtually any BDSM club is likely to have people who would love to try it with you, degrading you, ignoring and dismissing your cries for them to stop, lording their power over you, and if you decide you don’t actually like it, all you have to do is say “pineapple” and they switch on a dime to comforting you and making sure you’re okay