I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes

Hi, that was me 👋🏼

Although it was not the most constructive of feedback

Sorry about that. Usually my first instinct with a removal I consider unreasonable and where I know who did it is to state my case for reinstatement as calmly and politely as I can in a direct message.

I have been rebuffed in doing so before, though, (sometimes angrily to the point of being punished for respectfully disagreeing with a moderation decision) and I guess I let bad experiences with less reasonable mods influence my reaction to the point where I assumed the worst, which wasn’t really fair towards you. My apologies.

sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality

True.

I was basing my moderating on what was being reported

While in essence that’s a good way to do it, sometimes that can be a form of peer pressure from people trying to enforce their opinion rather than the broader community making itself heard.

I’m sure you know that, though, since you didn’t start moderating recently and sound reasonable, so this is more of a reminder for others in the discussion and no condescension or lecturing you about your “job” is intended.

sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier.

This is where your otherwise reasonable argument falls apart, though, as the specific post you removed was clearly the latter and thus within the scope of this community rather than !unclejokes@lemmy.world or similar.

While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community

Personally I disagree on that, but it’s not as important to me as it seems to be to the seeming consensus that agrees, so no worries 🙂

This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions

This is pretty much the perfect attitude to have as the sole mod of a community like this one IMO, good on you!

Should profanity be allowed

I’m personally a big fan of profanity used well, but I can see how overuse or misuse could be unfortunate in this particular genre of humor, so I’d consider limiting it justified for once.

After all, as someone else hinted at, avoiding “bad” words in front of the child is very much part of how literal dads typically talk, so cursing up a storm would be incongruous heh

I’m still against a total profanity ban, but having common sense “don’t make the joke ABOUT profanity and prurient subject matter” and/or “don’t use it so much that the joke no longer fits the theme” limitations seems reasonable to me.

I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.

Thanks for being fair and reasonable about it and once again sorry for assuming that you wouldn’t!

A joke acknowledging the existence of gay and bi people is not “unclean” or somehow unreasonable to tell in the company of people of any age. That joke made in the style of “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!” absolutely belongs in the Dad Jokes community.

Yo @loopy, just wanted to leave my spectating/appreciation here for a mod that gives their best, is transparent and willing to adapt. Also for the grace with which you took the criticism that could have been formulated a lot more appreciatively. You’re da real mvp. Thank you

The linked community on dbzer0 is not a place for “feedback” it’s a community of narcissists for coordinating harassment. Ask your admin to defederate and pay their opinions no mind.

C’mon ! Dad jokes are what dads tell his whole family specifically for those sweet sweet groans from his young kids.

Adult themed content doesn’t fit in that cute naivety spirit of dad jokes.

Any dad telling a joke to his grown children is just some dude telling jokes to other adults.

There is definitely no lack of places to spread adult themed musings, but precious few for the punny confectionate that are free from folks trying to be edgy.

It’s a Dad Joke community, it should be oriented toward corny jokes and groan-worthy puns, that only a Dad would love. Don’t tell “Dirty Jokes” here. We know what they are. (didn’t someone make an “uncle jokes” community for those?)

Having said that, simply noticing that gay and bi people exist (and can also tell dad jokes) in no way qualifies as a “dirty joke”. I mean, we talk with kids about people with boyfriends and girlfriends all the time, and tell corny jokes about them, without getting all ooky. Pointing out a couple with two boyfriends isnt any different.

I saw that joke and it made me chuckle, if I were mod here I would have left it alone.

The only thing I have a real opinion on is the question of profanity, as you’ve obviously changed your perspective on the original matter.

Curse words in dad jokes are fine if, and only if, they’re part of the word play. Which isn’t going to happen often, but it still has a place in dad jokes.

Dad jokes aren’t purely about little kids. They’re the kind of left field thinking that elicits groans as much laughter. Word play is the central concept, with puns being the dominant form. It’s kinda like swifties, as in [Tom Swift](The Joy of Tom Swifties - Merriam-Webster), not Taylor. As an example, from the source I linked: “the thermostat is too high”, said Tom heatedly.

The underlying concept is the same, it’s the format that differs. The dad joke equivalent of the above would be something like, “who turned the thermostat up? That gets me hot under the collar” or something similar.

There’s no reason you can’t do word play with curse words. If you’re in a household where cursing isn’t proscribed, a kid might say something like “teacher is really riding my ass this week”, to which you might respond, “I didn’t know you had a donkey”.

So, while I do think that curse words shouldn’t be just thrown in randomly, it’s about keeping the structure and fluidity of the format rather than the words themselves. Your prototypical dad joke won’t have cursing because it unnecessarily draws the word play out.

I’m glad to see this here.

I think in the same way that the reddit community “Explain Like I’m Five” doesn’t require explanations to be geared towards actual five-year-olds, I think DadJokes are best described (and most commonly) silly puns. Jokes that tend to elicit a groan along with laughter.

I don’t think gearing them towards children is necessary at all, and so I would remove the concern about sex completely.

I’m an adult. I’ve never had kids. I enjoy dad jokes. It’s not about being an actual father, either, come to that.

The joke before was on the level of “I’m not a doctor but my degree in the wall thinks I am”; it didn’t have anything to do with sex just a stupid (which is key) play on words, totally a dad joke.

Dads can have children of all ages, even adult children. I see dad jokes as something that produces a groan but also a chuckle, heavily reliant on puns and broken expectations, not something that is directed at little children, but maybe not raunchy for the sake of shock value. That would be an uncle joke.

I’m happy to see profanity, sex as a topic, etc included.

Thanks for re-evaluating your decision.

Based. Let’s go. 🫶

I think the removed joke was fitting, sexuality is not really something “18+”. I’d keep those type of jokes in the future.

As for themes in general, I personally don’t mind any thematic in dad jokes, so I wouldn’t be against a “free for all”. But I’m fine with the current rules as well.

The only issue with changing the rules would be that it’s sometimes a hassle to allow sex/profanity jokes without having the community filled with “sex/profanity is the whole joke” type of posts. No matter the thematic, what’s important is that the joke is still facepalm/groan-inducing (in the good sense), imo.

I don’t see an issue with profanity, sex, drugs, or the like. Happy with what I see peronally but I wouldn’t be upset with more relaxed rules

Edit: again, only if it fits into the format of a “dad joke”.

I prefer no profanity because dad jokes tend to use child appropriate language, sometimes in a way that goes over kids heads. Poop is fine, but a dad joke won’t use shit for example.

Thank you for taking the time to follow up on feedback as the removed joke was a perfect dad joke.

Team sports ✅

Cuck porn ❌