• TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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    1 day ago

    For instance, I’m finsexual, which is a subcategory of bisexual because it describes specific gender elements that I am attracted to but is not a sub category of pansexual as a result.

    I don’t know why but this is making me feel my age. I feel like I mentally just patted down different pockets across my mind like an old man, looking for a pamphlet or flow chart that I know I don’t have but desperately need.

    The autism is compelling me to make a laminated pocket sized booklet with an updated chart of all gender, sexual orientation, and flag colors. But I also feel being spotted in public using the LGBTQ Pokedex might be faux pas?

    • Cris_Citrus (he/him <3)@piefed.zip
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      23 hours ago

      You dont have to know them all. Its just a comfort to people to have a label when you can’t otherwise communicate your experience :) (and in some cases it makes you feel less alone and weird for relating to people in a way you dont see anyone else experiencing)

      And there are a lot of ways to experience sexuality and attraction (or to not experience it), so there are a lot of labels! But you dont need to know all of them

      You can always ask if someone uses a label you dont know and you’d like to know (eg “oh, ive not heard that label before. What does it mean to you?”) and as long as you’re being friendly people usually take comfort in seeing someone interested in understanding them. But unless you’re in community with someone and want to understand their identity, its not neccesary to really know the various labels, nevermind have a complete list and know all of them by heart

      Sending love from my corner of the world to yours ☺️ (signed, a person who’s maybe gray-ace :)

    • queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      It’s tough because the language has evolved relatively rapidly over the past few decades, and is still evolving quite rapidly. Definitions emerge and compete for relevancy (like the atrocious “Bi means you aren’t attracted to trans people” strain that has popped up in this thread) and they can contradict or confuse with each other. It has been my experience that it’s harder to absorb vocabulary as I get older, so I think I know what you mean. I’ve stopped trying to reach a comprehensive understanding, I just try to use the language that helps and respects people and not the language that harms and demeans people as best I can.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        Yeah, I feel like past 35 it’s harder to keep up with trending vernacular. I just try my best to be respectful. I think the autism has kinda trained me to use gender neutral pronouns and to avoid assuming sexual orientation anyways. I’ve always had a hard time distinguishing gender unless it’s blatantly obvious someone is presenting as masculine or feminine.

    • HalfSalesman@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Nah, I looked it up because its my specific type of attraction and its easier to tell someone I’m finsexual and assume they’ll look it up or ask me to explain what that is. Rather than up front explaining in detail what my specific sexual interests are which might be a tad forward…

      • Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Please explain your sexual interests entirely through allegory without using explicit vocabulary generally accepted to be sexual in connotation. Thank you.