Holy shit this thread is full of holier than thou judgy comments!
I have always been the strict one, no phones at the table, no devices in the room. I taught my daughter to cook, the correct way to clean. I taught her manners.
I learned patience and fortitude as I made her do these things over and over again until they were done right, instead of doing them myself.
My daughter has AuDHD, something that can be a reason but that we never let be an excuse. Part of that disability is struggling with executive function, and you know what? More often than not, she does this same shit. Yes, even at 20 years old.
There are times I needed support and wanted to post similar things somewhere just so someone else could bear witness to how fucking hard it is to raise a kid like that right.
When she was 12 I watched her stand at the sink for I shit you not 6 fucking hours doing the dishes for a family of 3. We watched her and took little notes. Here is a one hour excerpt:
1810 - playing with foam and masher
1812 - playing with masher + silicone mixer (red), then just the foam and silicone mixer
1813 - rubs silicone mixer on spatula, then puts the red mixer in the clean. Lightly rubs once on each side
of the spatula and calls it cleaned.
1814 - playing with sponge. Holding it upright and squeezing to so runs down arm. Then gets a plate to the surface, and uses sponge to drip water + foam over plate (no direct contact).
1815 - refills sponge, and squeezes over arm again. Then gives 2 circles over the plate in the clean area, and calls it done. Goes back to playing with sponge, picking up foam with it and putting it on another dish.
1816 - sponges hand. Then cleans 1 glass. Picks up 2nd glass, but does a water cycle in it. No sponge action.
1817 - after doing nothing for 30 seconds, sponge stuffed in glass then twisted about gingerly.
1818 - glass with inside sponge twisted put in cleaning part of sink, sponge drained over it. Outside of glass not cleaned. Stands there still for next half minute
1819 - stands there still for first half of minute, gets whisk and whisks about. Drops whisk back in water then walks into lounge room
1820 - walks around lounge room, then plays with sponge
1821 - plays with sponge
1821 - still playing with sponge
1822 - rustles some cutlery after being reminded of being watched, then plays with water
??? - wonders off to get hair tie to put in pony tail. Turned on fan.
1829 - 4 things rinsed. Then looking outside. Then playing with pasta strainer
1830 fills pasta strainer, then lifts to see water fall through it. Holds in front of fan towards face. 5 swipes of the sponge, then plays with fan.
1831 - mentions not getting dessert. After being reminded of being watched, starts to sponge correctly.
1833 - handles the pot for a while before touching sponge. Now using pot scraper.
1837 - puts cutlery on clean side even though didn’t clean with sponge. then uses “pot sponge” on cutlery, not regular sponge.
1839 - scoops up foam with large pot spoon, then drops it in.
1841 - now cleans up dinner mess left on table. Out of order on procedure.
1842 - uses sharp side of knife to scrape off cutting board
1843 - confused by used skewers. Puts it down when asked to work it out.
1855 - puts away cleaned knife, then takes another out to look at
1857 - looking intently at finger for a long time.
1859 - using green pot scrubber on plastic containers scratching them
This went on for I am not exaggerating 6 hours. After that I resolved to never judge a parent for not being able to teach their kid something like washing dishes, because for every A type that just fucking does things there is a B type that drives you insane. Most parents give up and just do it themselves.
Now that she’s 20 she is doing better, we estimate she is 2-3 years behind her peers when it comes to this sort of maturity and executive functioning. She doesn’t take hours to do something, but may take 16 reminders.
Anyway OP, keep fighting the good fight. We all do our best and sometimes a kid just … Refuses to learn.
Holy shit this thread is full of holier than thou judgy comments!
I have always been the strict one, no phones at the table, no devices in the room. I taught my daughter to cook, the correct way to clean. I taught her manners.
I learned patience and fortitude as I made her do these things over and over again until they were done right, instead of doing them myself.
My daughter has AuDHD, something that can be a reason but that we never let be an excuse. Part of that disability is struggling with executive function, and you know what? More often than not, she does this same shit. Yes, even at 20 years old.
There are times I needed support and wanted to post similar things somewhere just so someone else could bear witness to how fucking hard it is to raise a kid like that right.
When she was 12 I watched her stand at the sink for I shit you not 6 fucking hours doing the dishes for a family of 3. We watched her and took little notes. Here is a one hour excerpt:
This went on for I am not exaggerating 6 hours. After that I resolved to never judge a parent for not being able to teach their kid something like washing dishes, because for every A type that just fucking does things there is a B type that drives you insane. Most parents give up and just do it themselves.
Now that she’s 20 she is doing better, we estimate she is 2-3 years behind her peers when it comes to this sort of maturity and executive functioning. She doesn’t take hours to do something, but may take 16 reminders.
Anyway OP, keep fighting the good fight. We all do our best and sometimes a kid just … Refuses to learn.