Mama told me not to come.

She said, that ain’t the way to have fun.

  • 1 Post
  • 1.7K Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: June 11th, 2023
  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•Actual Budget is a fantastic FOSS budgeting tool that you can self-hostEnglish
    1·
    1 day ago

    Nope, which honestly annoys me but is pretty par for the course. That said, when it comes to budgeting, I mostly care about where money is going and care less about the “whole financial picture.” If I need to estimate what retirement looks like, I want more than a simple budgeting tool.

    I personally use Fidelity for investment tracking. My main “checking” is their Cash Management Account, my “savings” is a brokerage account (invested in t-bills and money market funds), and I can link all of my other accounts and it pulls in specific investments and shows a consolidated view. It’s awesome because it shows all kinds of stuff, like morningstar-style factor weights, sector exposure, etc. It’s not self-hosted, but I trust them with my banking anyway, so it’s not like I’m opening myself up to some new exploit (oh, and Fidelity also has proper MFA; Symantic VIP, which kinda sucks, but it’s way better than any other financial institution).

    I used to track this stuff via a Google spreadsheet (couldn’t find a way to get stock quotes in LibreOffice), but this seems to be good enough for me.

  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•Syncthing Android app discontinuedEnglish
    1·
    8 days ago

    They’re moving a lot of code to this internal core, which means this core is unstable. It’s pretty common for projects to hold off on making code public until it’s reached a certain level of stability. I’m guessing they’re not interested in accepting patches, due to the high level of churn from the dev team. Once that churn dies down, there’s a chance they’ll reconsider and make it FOSS.

    I’ve seen this in a number of FOSS projects, and it’s also what I do on my own (I don’t want help until I’m happy with the base functionality).

    So that’s why I hold out hope. We’ll see once the churn on that internal SDK repo dies down.

  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•2024 Self-Host User Survey ResultsEnglish
    81·
    8 days ago

    Yeah, I totally get that.

    However, the women in my workplace either aren’t married or have no kids. They just don’t want to do “work stuff” outside of work hours, so I don’t think that comic really applies.

    Personal experience w/ SO about similar realization

    Over the past year or two, my wife has gotten really stressed by the kids, so I (male) have taken over a lot of the tasks involving the kids. I make breakfast and lunch and drop the kids at school every day, then more often than not make dinner when I finish work, and I put the kids to bed every night. My wife is a SAHM, but she’s had a ton of issues with anxiety recently, so she’s mostly been caring for the youngest (4yo) and picking up the others from school. All the kids are quite independent now and mostly play with the neighbors, and she makes dinner 1-2x/week. I do almost all of the shopping, laundry, dishes, etc, but she still stresses about those despite not doing much of it (again, anxiety).

    We have a very different way of working on household tasks. When I’m short on time, I do the urgent things first and intentionally ignore the less important details to be handled later (usually the weekend). When she is short on time, she’ll stay up late and do all the details while also doing the important things, then she’s burnt out for the next few days (understandable) and things degrade back to where they were. I think the average level of tidiness and amount of work is similar between our approaches.

    So she has essentially retained the mental load, even though I’ve taken the lion’s share of the actual work. Just seeing a mess stresses her out, whereas for me, a mess is just an obstacle that I can work around in the short-term. It’s not that I don’t see the mess, just that I’m a lot more focused on the task than the broader picture.

    My thought is that this is a bunch of latent guilt stemming from her upbringing. She grew up in an E. Asian household, with all of the social expectations and whatnot, so when she sees a mess, she takes it as a personal attack on not being a good enough home maker. I had a similar upbringing, where my mom stayed home w/ us kids and my dad was the sole breadwinner. However, when I was a teenager, my mom started to work outside the house and my dad was able to WFH more, so they shared the household responsibilities a bit more (she still did laundry and shopping, but my dad did more cooking and dishes). My in-laws have had a similar transition (MIL works, FIL takes SS and doesn’t work), but my MIL still keeps the same responsibilities she always had.

    So, I’ve been trying to have things a bit more complete, even if in just one area, rather than spreading efforts around the house, and it seems to have a much bigger impact on her anxiety than what I would normally do. I’ve also listed all of the household chores, and we’ll be assigning explicit responsibility of tasks to the kids (they had them as chores, but there was no formal handover of responsibility), as well as offering the kids incentives to take on additional tasks (in our case, that means spending money). My goal is to reduce her mental load and enable her to think about things outside of the home to hopefully get over the anxiety issues she’s been facing.

    To me, this totally confirms the gist of that post. Taking away the work of a task still leaves the mental load of that task.

    That said, I think there’s something more here though. I think men see work as a end in itself, whereas women see it as a means to an end (i.e. men want to hunt despite it being less efficient, because the trophy is the point). I’m sure there’s a ton of variability there, but I wonder if there’s more than just culture at play here (i.e. the above mentality also makes sense in a hunter/gatherer context; men do the big, showy things, while women do the consistent work of the tribe). I don’t know, what I do know is that none of the women I know have hobbies that are similar to the work they do, even if they find their work to be fulfilling.

  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•Syncthing Android app discontinuedEnglish
    4·
    8 days ago

    To be fair, the project page says this:

    The password manager SDK is not intended for public use and is not supported by Bitwarden at this stage. It is solely intended to centralize the business logic and to provide a single source of truth for the internal applications. As the SDK evolves into a more stable and feature complete state we will re-evaluate the possibility of publishing stable bindings for the public. The password manager interface is unstable and will change without warning.

    So there are two ways this can go:

    • they complete the refactor and release it as FOSS
    • they complete the refactor and change the clients to be proprietary

    I’m going to stick with them until I see what they do once they complete the refactor.

  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•Please check my setup.English
    3·
    11 days ago

    Yup, cloudflare should work.

    I personally set up a VPS w/ a WireGuard tunnel, with a reverse proxy at the VPS that sends traffic to connected WireGuard clients. My exact setup is something like this:

    1. VPS w/ HAProxy and WireGuard - routing happens based on SNI
    2. Caddy on homelab to handle TLS trunking
    3. router configured with static DNS routes so I can use public addresses w/o hitting the WAN on my LAN

    This could easily be adjusted to only have HAProxy work over the WireGuard interface so there are no public addresses to worry about.

    But I used Tailscale for a while to solve this problem, and cloudflare tunnels would work as well. Lots of options to work around stupid ISP policies…

  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.workstoSelfhosted@lemmy.world•Please check my setup.English
    1·
    11 days ago

    Doesn’t work if you’re behind CGNAT (which I am), unfortunately.

    To tell, if your public IP matches what your router/modem reports as its WAN IP, you might be golden. If that’s the case, try messing w/ port forwards on your router to see what the ISP lets through. If it’s not the case, you’re behind CGNAT and either need to pay your ISP ($5-10 usually) or use a VPS. I’m behind CGNAT, so I went for the VPS because it’s the same price and I find more value in that vs a publicly routable address.