I know I’m absorbed in the internet during most of my waking hours, but my real life is a hellish, traumatizing wasteland. (The experience of being trans in a car-dependant desolated city in an advanced state of capitalist alienation + severe trauma that I cannot realistically get the mental healthcare for or support here to deal with.)

I remember very little of my life. It’s like waking up from surgeries for short periods of time and experiencing little melancholic vignettes before going back under for unknown amounts of time. Laughing at stupid comments online in places like this is one of my only sources of joy.

Facing reality isn’t the solution to my situation, yet. I need sedation, and maybe then I can recover from my injuries enough to survive going through that process.