Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]

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Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: October 3rd, 2020

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  • Wait… Are you guys not doing the Highlander thing? Because I’ve been cutting the heads off of other Lemmy users to absorb their power, but if there can actually be more than one true Lemmy user then wow… That is some egg on my face, but anyway the monthly users should start increasing again once I stop!

    Sincerely, the 900 or so Lemmy users I for lack of a better word now “represent”.







  • To save even more money, switch over completely to a diet of things you find on the ground.

    To save even more money, stop bathing, showering and brushing your teeth.

    To save even more money, stop living in a house and move into the sewers.

    To save even more money, stop wearing clothes.

    To save even more money, stop communicating with expensive words, settling instead for grunting, growling and maybe barking like a dog. Consider filing your teeth pointy.

    To save even more money, stop using tools. Emerge from your sewer hideout only at night to prowl the streets on all fours, feral and bewildered, eyes grown pale and milky from years in the dark sewers darting maniacally back and forth while your filth-encrusted teeth and nails twitch in anticipation of the slightest movement.

    This is how I was able to afford a starter house by age 30. This and a $400 000 loan from my father.