I’ve set up an XMPP server a few years ago. It worked beautifully!

Try installing the newest kernel available as that’s where hardware support comes from. Since you’re on an Ubuntu based distro - you could use somerthing like ukuu. Or just switch to a more rolling release type of distro.

Usability-wise - absolutely agreed. I do wonder if it’s possible to implement it on a technical level in a way that does not cripple smaller instances.