It’s a turdoggy lmao

Well I already have the crocs, you see…

Mainly so I don’t have to put real shoes on to take out the trash tbh.

Dude, try not to pull something stretching that hard.

As long as you don’t eat a second one, you should be fine!

A couple of my friends are really bad about this. It’s like wasting my time is a sport to them lol. No part of me wants to kick them repeatedly in the shins for being 2 hours late to something for eternity. No part at all…

Ah great point. I’ll go tell my clinical insomnia all we need is more sleep.

No thanks, I’ve seen this black mirror episode.

It’s my hand, actually.

But he’s not American? Is this a woosh moment for me?

“I know it, but I don’t think I should say it…”