No, they are the not-a-bank’s not-a-banks.

That’s why you should only bank at banks and not bank at not-a-banks.

Dude. Literally no one is out there screen shotting “tankies” on lemmy. It’s just in your head.

Persecution complex really knows no bounds.

Orthodox

The Orthodox communion is having a bit of a revival right now. Which happens on occasion for them, because they are really misunderstood in the West.

For example, in the 2000s they had a brief boom period where “new-agey” type people were attracted to the mystical aspects of the church. I think that boom was short lived because those people really just wanted spiritual consumerism, and, as far as Christian denominations go, Orthodoxy is hard work. It’s not for beginners. If you aren’t born into it then it’s really hard to break in. (By my understanding is that if you do the hard work the community and spiritual benefits are really meaningful.)

Unfortunately, today their current boom (if it’s still going on, this information is a few years old now) is coming from Proud boys-type people. They were interested it it because it’s seen as adequately homophobic and sexist for them. My guess is that their interest was ultimately short lived as well because they aren’t going to be interested in doing the work any more than the Live-Laugh-Love crowd was.

Orthodox

I’m sure the Catholics would disagree with me, and that’s fine with me. But personally I would say the Orthodox are the oldest continuous movement of Christianity. Not only do they historically beat out the Romans by a few decades, but also they have maintained a far more consistent liturgy over the millennia. The Catholics have had a a good handful of major liturgical changes that I would say constitute a few major breaks in historical consistency.

That’s not a criticism from me. I’m Anglican.

Give me a plushy and I’ll volunteer for the control group

If you use Slack then you are probably a person that finds benefit in self-inflicted struggles. You seriously might find benefit and meaning in the Orthodox Church.

I do not consider those churches to be Christian. Their theology is significantly removed from orthoxy that it’s unrecognizable.

But even still, as with WSL, you can find some Christianity in there if you work really hard to find it.

Think about it a little more…

I like reading the comments from people that got the joke.

Sounds about right to me.

MacOS is Hillsong.

I can see that.

Also, many of these are not Christian, and many of these are not Linux.

I’m aware.

That’s part of the joke.

I was really proud of a lot of these jokes by the way. Many are multi-layered.

To stick to the theme of my chart, since Unitarian Universalism is non-trinitarian it would likely need to be a Unix-like OS that isn’t Linux. I would give it OpenSolaris. (And that’s a compliment.)

Orthodox is Slackware because it’s the oldest Christian denomination and changes very slowly.

Arch is the denomination that is super proud of itself, despite being messed up for most people. OpenSuse is Baptist due to it’s general reliability and flexibility. ChromeOS is Southern Baptist because it’s barely recognizable as Linux.

Judaism is Unix.