SCOUT: Um, I—I don’t even know where to start with you. I mean, do you know even who you’re talking to?
[Cut to Heavy near a Capture Point, about to eat a sandvich. Scout taps him on the head with his baseball bat.]
SCOUT: Yo, what’s up?
[Cut back to Scout talking infront of the title card]
SCOUT: D—do you have any idea? Any idea who I am?
[Cut to Heavy and Scout screaming as Heavy tries to grab Scout. Then cut back to Scout talking infront of the title card.]
SCOUT: Basically? Kind of a big deal.
[Cut again to Scout trying to choke Heavy with his bat, and then back again to Scout infront of the title card, admiring his muscles.]
SCOUT: Oh man, that’s beautiful.
[Cut to Heavy trying to put Scout in a headlock, and then back again to Scout infront of the title card.]
SCOUT: Are you listening? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother? I hurt people. [Scout taps the camera, leaving a visible smidge on the lense for the rest of the video.]
[Cut to Scout whacking Heavy in the gut with his bat]
SCOUT: Boink!
[Cut to title card]
SCOUT: I’m a force of nature.
[Cut to Scout whacking Heavy upside the chin with his bat]
SCOUT: If you were from where I was from, you’d be f*cking dead!
[Cut to Scout leaping off a stack of containers to whack Heavy over the head with his bat, then back to the title card one last time]
SCOUT: Woo!
[Team Fortress 2 theme plays, then cuts to Scout eating Heavy’s sandvich as he sits ontop of his unconscious body.]