Heyy, I don’t have much to say but I relate so much to this. I am the same age and same length of time on e, and it can realy suck. I figured out I was trans at 14 but spent the next 6 years repressing so am also mourning the lives I’ve lost to time. I saw your selfie post on your profile and you are very pretty, progress feels sooo slow but you are well on your way. It takes time and effort but we will get there. I’ve got so much important stuff happening in my life at the moment but it feels like I’m not there, and I don’t think I will do until I know I pass better. Until then it just feels like I’m surviving not living, but I’ll take things one day at a time. Just know that you are not alone, there are so many of us in the same boat and we are going to make it. Take care, make sure you try your best to get enough sleep as I know I always feel so much more depressed when tired. It feels like half of what you have written are just worms plucked straight out of my brain. I wish you the best <3