I’m right now stuck in a fucked up spot with this. There’s a funeral tomorrow that I need to go to, for myself, my friends, the person who has passed and her family. The past three weeks since she passed, from sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP), has been fucking fucked. I’ve only been able to sleep every two nights, just from exhaustion, but I’ve been fully focused on saving any and all possible energy to get to this funeral. I’m in bed and my downstairs neighbour who moved in a couple of weeks ago has people over and they’re all kinds of fucked up, loud talking, shouting, stumbles, going in and out of the apartment etc. I’ve banged on the walls and the floor but they seem way too gone to even hear it. I should call in a disturbance report but I’m so far from being able to do that, it would fuck my whole night as much as it does just letting them be. I’m so stuck that I’m crying on the inside but unable to do so physically and it’s all just hitting me like a rain of cannonballs. There’s one thing I hope can help, music, but my earpods are in the kitchen and even turning in bed feels too much right now. I don’t know how to het out of this, just stuck.