If they say no they were probably always going to say no, and you were wasting your mental energy picturing a fantasy where they might say yes. What if your waiting to ask means that they wanted to ask you, but thought YOU might say no so they are in the same loop. Or they hadn’t considered it at all, but would say yes if you ask. No one likes uncertainty, so remove it.
Them saying no means you can move to the next potential. The worst thing we do is create simulations in our head of a perfect match, when in reality there’s lots of very good matches out there, possibly better matched in some ways than the one you’re obsessed with.
It’s why a whole lot of people do not go to the doctor when they have some ailment because uncertainty is preferred over negative outlooks.
It’s why many people avoid looking at the news despite knowing what’s being said will affect them sooner or later.
It’s why neither partner wants to confront the reality the relationship is failing, instead choosing to go on as usual until it crashes and burns.
And it’s why people don’t ask others out, as keeping the illusion you had a chance is preferred over knowing you never even had one. Ignorance is bliss after all.
But if the easier route results in more uncertainty than the difficult route, and people keep choosing it, people are at the very least preferring uncertainty over difficulty, aren’t they?
That much is true, sure. People don’t usually like to stray far from the familiar, and if that means continuing to fantasize vs. taking the plunge and seeing what happens, that’s what they’ll do. Or with the rest of your examples, stick with what they’ve done in the past, even though they know where it leads, because doing different means the unknown.
And I’m preaching while not always practicing myself, it’s human nature to feel comfortable. But I have found that most of the time if I force myself to get past the worry and fear and just do the thing, it tends to work out fine and not be as bad as I thought it would be.
orr they just wanted to flirt with you but have no actual interest in a relationship … and if they do a relationship, it’s one of those that sucks ass where you “have to do things” all the time (go out and do dangerous adventures) instead of just staying home and cuddling … bonus points if she thinks that cuddling is lewd and therefore should be illegal.
If they say no they were probably always going to say no, and you were wasting your mental energy picturing a fantasy where they might say yes. What if your waiting to ask means that they wanted to ask you, but thought YOU might say no so they are in the same loop. Or they hadn’t considered it at all, but would say yes if you ask. No one likes uncertainty, so remove it.
Them saying no means you can move to the next potential. The worst thing we do is create simulations in our head of a perfect match, when in reality there’s lots of very good matches out there, possibly better matched in some ways than the one you’re obsessed with.
Chops off testicles
I’d say most people love uncertainty.
It’s why a whole lot of people do not go to the doctor when they have some ailment because uncertainty is preferred over negative outlooks.
It’s why many people avoid looking at the news despite knowing what’s being said will affect them sooner or later.
It’s why neither partner wants to confront the reality the relationship is failing, instead choosing to go on as usual until it crashes and burns.
And it’s why people don’t ask others out, as keeping the illusion you had a chance is preferred over knowing you never even had one. Ignorance is bliss after all.
I don’t think that’s loving uncertainty as much as it’s the easier route to take.
But if the easier route results in more uncertainty than the difficult route, and people keep choosing it, people are at the very least preferring uncertainty over difficulty, aren’t they?
That much is true, sure. People don’t usually like to stray far from the familiar, and if that means continuing to fantasize vs. taking the plunge and seeing what happens, that’s what they’ll do. Or with the rest of your examples, stick with what they’ve done in the past, even though they know where it leads, because doing different means the unknown.
And I’m preaching while not always practicing myself, it’s human nature to feel comfortable. But I have found that most of the time if I force myself to get past the worry and fear and just do the thing, it tends to work out fine and not be as bad as I thought it would be.
Get outta here with your good logic and reasoning.
This is a good post.
orr they just wanted to flirt with you but have no actual interest in a relationship … and if they do a relationship, it’s one of those that sucks ass where you “have to do things” all the time (go out and do dangerous adventures) instead of just staying home and cuddling … bonus points if she thinks that cuddling is lewd and therefore should be illegal.