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Basically, a good way to never trust "it's okay, the data is anonymized" again is simply knowing what the "Hemisphere Program" is.
https://www.eff.org/cases/hemisphere
In short, the US government got access to number from, number to, datetime, length and sometimes location information for every call passing through AT&T's network from 1987 to today.
Then they ran an algorithm to de-anonymize every burner phone based on behavior. They did this because maybe some of those burners were used by drug dealers.
Running your own isn’t a great answer as that doesn’t necessarily mean it is secure. I personally like Simplex Chat and Briar. Matrix would be on the list if it was a little bit more stable.
Running your own server doesn’t necessarily mean it’s secure, but it’s a lot more likely to be secure than a server somebody else runs. The very fact that the server is only used by a handful of people you know and trust makes it infinitely more secure. Also as you say in your other reply:
At the end of the day any server you don’t control shouldn’t be trusted.
Running your own isn’t a great answer as that doesn’t necessarily mean it is secure. I personally like Simplex Chat and Briar. Matrix would be on the list if it was a little bit more stable.
Running your own server doesn’t necessarily mean it’s secure, but it’s a lot more likely to be secure than a server somebody else runs. The very fact that the server is only used by a handful of people you know and trust makes it infinitely more secure. Also as you say in your other reply:
and this Matrix? https://github.com/libremonde-org/paper-research-privacy-matrix.org/blob/master/part1/README.md
Matrix has a habit of eating my chats. They will suddenly be all “message can’t be decrypted”