• lilith267@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 hours ago

    I learned what bi/pan was from a random discord user back in 2016 and I still think its the best description

    Bi: Sexually attracted to looks, personality can obv play a big part/be a deciding factor but your main attraction comes from how physically attractive you think they are

    Pan: Sexually attracted to personality, looks can obv play a big part/be the deciding factor but your main attraction is how much you like their personality

    • nforminvasion@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      Again… Not dogging on you, because you nuanced it, but 99% of times, that definition is used to make bisexuals look shallow. The parent comment was right, there’s no good reason to have two, except that the creator wanted to feel special and unique.

      • Hildegard (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 hours ago

        No no no. Hi it’s me the parent commenter. I did not say that. There is reason to have both terms. Please don’t put words in my mouth.

        That definition does exemplify my point about definitions reading as slander to bisexuals, as that definition does imply bisexuals are shallow, but that does not mean pansexuality isn’t a valid or useful term. The problem is trying to make a definition that is strict and draws a fine line between bisexuals and pansexuals. That cannot be done.

        This is a grey area. Bisexuality is a diverse spectrum. The terms need to be a little fuzzy with some overlap. And that’s fine. The real world doesn’t fit neatly into the boxes we try to make for it.

        Its good we have both the terms bisexual and pansexual. Its a very good thing we have words to communicate some of the many nuances that exist.

        • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          3 hours ago

          I think the problem is that identifying as pan vs bi doesn’t really communicate anything, because there’s not a meaningful consensus of what either word means in relation to the other. The definitions vary wildly depending on who’s using them, so you have to clarify either way and you may as well just explain your sexuality in more direct terms if the nuances matter.

      • BlaestEgnen@feddit.dk
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        6 hours ago

        All heterosexuals and homosexuals care about physical traits, often regarding a genitalia.

        It’s not about being shallow, when 90%+(?) of the population shares that commonality.

        I consider myself a panromantic, heterosexual non-binary person.

        Sure personality matters a lot to me, but I can’t sexually engage with a penis. It’s just how it goes.

      • lilith267@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        8 hours ago

        Is it shallow to want to fuck someone because their hot? Isnt that literally the societal norm? The majority of interaction ive had by far are people with sexual attraction on looks that ive personally just never been able to relate too. Thats why I think there needs to be a distinction for those of us who dont feel that sexual attraction even if their aesthetic appearance is something we would be sexually atteacted too after being attracted to their personality

        Although… Thinking about it that might fit under demisexual, but then you cant specify the gender, so demi-bisexual? Honestly maybe pansexual should just be the pretty name for demi-bisexual although I think others using pansexual would say its different from demi, or maybe omni would say their more demi-bisexual. Idk im definitely with you that there are too many labels, but I think sexual atteaction between physical and closeness/personality deserve to have a distinction