• Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    This is transphobic because it insinuates that trans people are some third gender rather than their actual gender. There is nothing about bisexuality or the “bi” prefix that would imply that bi people are only attracted to cis people unless you believe that trans and cis people are separate genders.

    Nonbinary people, on the other hand, I can see how “bi means two” can be conflated to mean bisexuals can’t be attracted to nonbinary people although I think that ignores the history of the term bisexual, as well as ignores the reality of nonbinary genders, i.e. you can’t necessarily tell someone is nonbinary by looking at them. I think when people say they’re “not attracted to nonbinary people” if they’re not bigoted they likely mean something like not being attracted to androgyny, but not all nonbinary people present androgynously.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        Not all trans people pass, and some trans people don’t exhibit their gender in a way someone else would like.

        Some do pass. How would those people who think they aren’t attracted to trans people even know until clothes come off? And even then, they might not be able to tell if a person is trans, cis, or intersex.

        It’s like when people say they aren’t attracted to bisexual men. It’s personal preference rooted in bigotry, even if they’re not conscious of it.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Because the only trans people they personally know are ones they aren’t attracted to?

            That doesn’t mean they won’t be attracted to any and all trans people.

            There’s nothing different about a bisexual man and a straight man when it comes to dating. If someone doesn’t like bisexual men because bisexual men are also attracted to men, that is a preference rooted in homophobia.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                2 days ago

                You aren’t the only person in the world.

                I’m not trans, but ok.

                It also doesn’t mean they will be either.

                That’s the point. They don’t know either. So to assume that every single trans person is not attractive to them is an assumption based in bigotry.

                Yeah, because gay and straight people totally always have the same culture and behavior right?

                They can overlap a lot depending on the person.

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    2 days ago

                    Try rubbing your two iq points together, maybe you can start a fire.

                    Maybe if you tried that, you’d understand the difference between generalizing groups of people and individuals.

      • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        That has nothing to do with being bisexual or not though. I might not be into bodybuilders “exhibiting their masculinity” by being absurdly jacked, but that doesn’t make me not bisexual. I’m just not attracted to that particular gender presentation.

        I think when people say “I’m not attracted to trans people” they have a particular idea of a trans person in their head, but plenty of trans people pass and some go “stealth”. “We can always tell” is patently false. I suppose I can imagine a person who is so caught up in gender who would be turned off if they found out someone is trans, but I find it difficult to imagine anyone not asexual who wouldn’t find some trans person initially attractive, at least post-op.

        I agree with your last point though. At this point I’ve mostly given up on pansexual/bisexual and just call myself queer.