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A thread of the posts by @cait.bsky.social. They read as follows:
I had my first talk therapy session with my new therapist and she hit me with the “you’re very self-aware” ☹️
not the “pleasure to have in class” of therapy
that’s right, I know all the tools and have developed countertools so they no longer work. welcome to thunderdome
It can be, though quite often anxiety can manifest as being too self-aware all the time, to the point that it’s getting in the way of actually enjoying life.
aaaaah yes fair i can see that, sounds a smol bit like me but bit more negative… good to know.
It’s also worth pointing out, I think, that if you’re only aware of your weaknesses and such, but don’t/can’t recognize your strengths, then you’re not really that self-aware
I feel that’s kind of getting into gate-keeping territory. Self-awareness imo just requires a person to be aware of themself, and whether that person is self-critical or self-appreciating is a different analysis of that awareness.
I’d argue self-appreciation and self-deprication can both get in the way of self-awareness. Someone experiencing clinically significant grandiosity is likely lacking in self awareness just as someone experiencing clinically significant negative self talk (i.e., cognitive distortion) is likely lacking in self awareness
This seems to come down to a difference in definition. You are viewing self-awareness as only able to be positive, and having an implied lack of bias.
I don’t expect either of those, I just view it as someone thinking about how they think or act, regardless of whether bias exists in that process. It’s all self-awareness.
I am not at all viewing it as only able to be positive; it should be accurate. Why call it awareness if it’s not reflecting reality?
That’s not self awareness, that’s meta cognition
Metacognition is a sub-portion of self-awareness that does not look at behavior. They’re intrinsically tied to one another, but self-awareness is broader than metacognition.
I’m not saying either of our definitions are incorrect - ‘self-awareness’ changes meaning somewhat depending on whether it’s being used philosophically, psychoanalitically, etc. And the fact it’s now used by the general public its meaning naturally shifts. I am saying your definition is more exclusionary, though, treating it more as a virtue to strive for rather than just an action one takes.
Functionally, if the only self-awareness is accurate self-awareness, then it can only be an advantage, and thus positive.
I would also argue that awareness does not need to be reflective of reality - you can be aware of hallucinations you are experiencing, or you can be aware that you are experiencing hallucinations. Both are awareness, but only one is more accurate to reality.
That’s fair, I glossed over the “act” part of your statement
Also fair, but the context here is it being used as a compliment from a therapist
Ah I see, I misunderstood what you meant by positive; I thought you were referring to the bit about being aware of your strengths.
I do think exclusively accurate self-awareness can absolutely be a disadvantage though.
Mm- I think I agree semantically, like technically it can mean that, but it’s pretty confusing. Consider how the session note looks when written each way:
Client reported experiencing auditory perception in the absence of external stimuli.vs
Client reported awareness of auditory perception in the absence of external stimuliThe latter, to me, sounds self contradictory
Alright I think we’re about on the same page now. It’s more how we are perceiving the compliment by the therapist.
Like, yes, self-awareness in itself is important for self-improvement, and some folks completely lack the habits of introspection and self-analysis, so at least having self-awareness is good. I would say that it’s more a first step, though, a skill that can be leveraged for improvement.
I’ve previously had a similar conversation with one of my former therapists where he commented on my self-awareness, but did later talk to me about my anxiety and self-conciousness being from that self-awareness. Essentially, focusing on how I’m acting and thinking, and making too harsh of judgements on minor mistakes or inconsequential failings.
That’s apart of why I don’t view self-awareness as the state of being accurately dialed in about yourself yet, but instead just in the habit of noting your thoughts and behaviours, regardless of whether you’ve actually figured out your biases or not yet.